The day my world came crashing down

I feel like my world ended today. Disclaimer: SAD, Dont read if you might get weepy, also I'm not taking calls right now (texts, Facebook messages or comments to this picture are fine. Didn't see my blind old man this mornin heading out to church, but sometimes he's on the other side of property and hidden from view. After church, I walked toward the back of the property, about halfway back I noticed a blanket hanging on the fence (2 nights ago I noticed the neighbors 35 year old Arabian mare down at the back, when I went to bring Apache up for the night. It was cold, she was old and dying, so I laid a spare blanket over the old girl and gave her a flake of hay to eat) as I looked toward the blanket my heart dropped! I saw a bright blue spot in the pond. I hit the ground, praying it wasn't what I knew it was. I gathered myself and ran (those who know me, know I'm not a runner!) around the very large pond. As I got to the other side, I had some sense to remove my phone from my pocket and toss it on dry ground as I ran into the pond. As I got to the blanket, I dove atop him grasping for his halter, I couldn't stand to see his face underwater (tears well up just picturing it). I pulled his face out of the water and pulled him (waist deep in the pond, shin deep in thick, thick mud...my shoes and jeans may not recover from this) to the island (he was about 4 foot from the bank or the island, but facing the island) I sat on the edge of the island with his head in my lap and wailed into his neck and apologized over and over. I had a horrible migraine last night when I got home and didn't bring him in. There were other nights that he didn't get brought up, but he always stayed away from the large pond, it often got him "stuck" at the back of the property. The ground is kinda wavy and he wouldn't go far, just in a small circle between the road bed around the pond and the neighbor's fence. Chad must have heard me and came. He helped me get him to the side of the pond so he could be gotten out. Shelby and I had spent 2 days a couple weeks ago building him a pen, but it didn't have any shelter yet, and the T Posts hadn't been capped, so he wasn't in it. He is buried at the back of the property and will soon have a cross. It's a cross we had already, either for Lil Man or for Stormy (sorry Shelby) Old man had been blind for 7 weeks.